


What You Make Me Feel

by smelly_cat1234



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:55:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29313705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smelly_cat1234/pseuds/smelly_cat1234
Summary: This is a story about a girl and how she feels when stuff happens. Sorry, its not a very good summary. I didn't know what to put.





	What You Make Me Feel

**Author's Note:**

> This may or may not be based off of my life. Some of it is not real though and I just made it up. The rest, you'll never know. If anyone actually reads this, I wrote this for school and I thought, "Might as well let others read it and see what they think." If you read this, could you give me some constructive criticism please. I would really appreciate it, but you don't have to. Thanks anyways!

I knew I should have worn a parachute this morning. It may not have saved my life, but at least the trip down would have been a beautiful and memorable scene of the countryside. This might not make sense to you so let me rewind and start a couple hours ago. I was your average middle-school girl, or so you might think. My life wasn’t complicated, I didn’t have any family issues, or even money problems. It looked like nothing was wrong with my life, some people might even go as far to say that it was perfect. You might be thinking, “What was the problem then?” Well, you’re about to find out.  
I remember my parents asking me if I trusted them and I told them yes. I was so young and I didn’t know what else to say because I did trust them. The next day, I might have answered differently though. The news stung and I didn’t want to believe it. I thought about how much my life was going to change. It happened so quickly and I just wanted to stay in the past and rewatch all of my memories with my old self over and over and over again, but I could not. I had to move forward in life...  
The day had come. I had been waiting for this day for a while now. I spent the day with my family, playing games, baking my cake, opening presents, and visiting different places in town. At night, we ate cake and watched tv together on the couches. It seemed like the perfect day, except that I didn’t get to see any of my friends. I don’t think it would have mattered if I did though, because we would have just hung out like normal, them not realizing that today was special to me. I could never tell them though, because it would seem like I was seeking attention. I wanted them to remember on their own, as proof that they actually cared about me. They never remembered though, didn’t even try to say anything if they did...  
I was sitting outside, watching him struggle to walk, he could barely even stand. Everyone around me was crying, but not me. I felt as if I had to stay strong, but inside, I just wanted to pause time or go back in time and watch myself spend time with him. I should have taken better care of him, and spent as much time with him as possible, but it was too late now. Nobody could change anything and we just had to go with it, it wasn’t our fault. It sure felt like it though, especially since it all started on the night of my birthday...  
I was with other people from my neighborhood that were my age. We were at my house. All of a sudden, my parents called and told me the news. I rushed outside, hoping that everything was going to be okay, but it wasn’t. I rushed her inside and I didn’t know what to do, so I just set her down to rest hoping that she would be okay in the morning. I continued to play with my friends, but I was so worried that I just went outside to spend some more time with her. We had to separate her otherwise everyone else might have killed her, just because of their own instincts. I gave her food and water and a nice place to lay. I just let her rest. When I came back, not even an hour later, she was gone...This time I was the problem. It was all my fault and I knew it. I could have prevented it and that is a fact. She could have still been here, if I wasn’t so stupid and shallow.  
This was all I could think about while I was sitting in the car. I was so sad, I didn’t want to interact with any human being for the rest of my life. Change was real. Death was real. Life was real. No that’s wrong, change, death, and life, they are real. This wasn’t like a game where you could rewind or start over, or even just stop playing and never start again. No, I had to continue on with this game of life.   
We soon arrived at the oh so mysterious place, with a banner hanging from the entrance saying, “SkyDiving, Buy One Ticket, Get Another One 20% OFF!!! This is a Limited Time Only Deal, Get it Now Before it Goes Away!!!” My parents stopped driving and hopefully looked back in the rearview mirror seeing my face and just thinking it was nerves, got out of the car. My parents wanted to do something exciting for my sister’s wedding, so they surprisingly set up the event and called my sister and my brother-in-law down to the warehouse where we would be starting off “an adventure of a life-time” they called it. Yeah, they sure were right, this adventure was about to be the cessation of all of my previous adventures. 30 minutes later, we were geared up and heading towards the plane. 30 minutes after that, we were in the air after learning what to do. They made sure we knew how everything worked before giving us the go ahead to jump out of the plane. I had thought this through many times before, as I contemplated it once more. I quickly decided that only good could come out of this. I looked around at everyone pulling themselves together deciding who would go first, clueless as to what was about to happen. I stood up and said, “I’ll go first.” Everyone looked at me like they wanted to say that they would go first because I was so small and younger than them, but they couldn’t bring themselves to say it because they were scared themselves. I looked around at everyone who had been in my life, hoping to remember this moment. I quickly took off my parachute and raised my voice over the engine of the plane so everyone could hear me. I yelled as loud as I could, “Remember, this was first” before jumping out of the plane. I remember right after I made my announcement, the lady who was helping us said, “I need to check your parachutes one more time, there was something wrong with the young girl…” I knew she was referring to me. She saw me right as I was jumping out, even made eye contact with me before she started screaming. One thing I remember very clearly was telling my family the difference between different degree murders the night before. (We had very weird conversations sometimes, but to us, they were very normal) I hoped they had gotten my reference. I know my brother got it in a heartbeat.  
Honestly, death isn’t as bad as everyone makes it out to be. I can watch over different people who were in my life. I can visit those who I thought were lost. Before, I might have thought that they were gone forever, but not anymore. I could tell them what it was like after they left us, how life changed, and how happy I was to see them. I could spend as much time as I wanted to with anyone. Life here, or death here, was so simple. You didn’t need to worry about never seeing someone again, you couldn’t get hurt, and you could just wander around and do whatever pleases you. Sometimes I would feel regret and guilt for just leaving them, but to be completely honest, I liked death a lot better than life. I would wonder about why I hadn’t come here earlier. It felt just like my old home.  
I guess you could say that I was the problem, my head was swarming with all of these negative thoughts. My life looked completely normal from the outside, but to really understand, you had to be inside of me. I wished so hard that I could take away all of the sadness from everyone in the world. I would be the only person that felt the pain of losing a loved one, or experiencing something terrible. I wished so hard that I could just take away all of their pain and leave with it. Then, no one ever had to experience anything like that ever again. I wished so hard, so much, that people wouldn’t just forget about me when I was in the background of their lives. I just wished that people would actually care about me.


End file.
